There's a very specific season of life I seem to be living in right now.
One that involves 5 a.m. alarms, endless loads of dance laundry, protein shakes in my cup holder, rushing between appointments and rehearsals, and finding rhinestones in places rhinestones should never be.
My car currently contains:
- dance bags
- a lifting belt
- extra shoes
- at least three empty coffee cups
- a blazer for client meetings
- and enough bobby pins to survive an apocalypse.
And honestly? I know I'm not alone.
This season has felt like controlled chaos in the best and hardest ways. Between dance competition season, recital prep, work, motherhood, training for HYROX Ottawa, and trying to keep up with everyday life, there are definitely days where I feel like I'm operating entirely on caffeine and calendar notifications.
But underneath all the chaos, I've realized something lately: I'm learning how to make space for both motherhood and personal goals at the same time. And I think a lot of women quietly struggle with that.
For a long time, I think many of us were taught that being a “good mom” meant putting ourselves last. That our goals, hobbies, passions, fitness, or personal growth somehow became optional once we had children.
But somewhere along the way, I realized that pursuing things for myself doesn't take away from motherhood – it actually strengthens it.
I want my daughter to grow up seeing that women are allowed to take up space too. That we can show up for our families while still showing up for ourselves. That it's okay to have goals outside of everyone else’s needs.
Some mornings, that looks really inspiring.
Other mornings, it looks like me reheating the same coffee three times while answering emails from a dance dressing room.
Balance, at least in this season, doesn't feel graceful. It feels messy. It feels loud. It feels like rushing from a workout to a client appointment to a competition stage with dry shampoo and a prayer.
But weirdly… it also feels really fulfilling.
Because in the middle of all the exhaustion, there's also so much gratitude.
- Gratitude for watching my daughter grow in confidence and passion through dance.
- Gratitude for a body that lets me train and challenge myself in new ways.
- Gratitude for the community around me – the dance moms, gym friends, clients, family, and people cheering each other on through busy seasons of life.
I think there's something really beautiful about women supporting women in seasons like this. Not pretending we have it all perfectly together. Not acting like balance is effortless. But simply reminding each other: “You're doing okay.”
And maybe that’s what this season is teaching me the most.
- That life doesn't have to slow down to still be meaningful.
- That chaos and gratitude can coexist.
- That ambition and motherhood are allowed to exist in the same space.
Some days I feel completely on top of it all. Other days, I forget water bottles, eat dinner in the car, and answer texts at red lights.
But I also know, deep down, these are the seasons I'll probably miss someday.
- The early mornings.
- The busy weekends.
- The controlled chaos.
- The feeling of building a life that is full – even when it's exhausting.
And for now, I'm trying my best to be present for all of it.
